Thursday, September 30, 2010


I am in love with this little girl but I have to admit: I'm exhausted!!

She sleeps pretty good from about 4pm until about 4am and then it's waketime. I've tried keeping her awake but to no avail. Of course, I don't go to sleep until about 9:30pm or so, so.... by 4am I'm pretty exhausted. I've had a few crying fits begging Aryn to go to sleep but nooooooo!!

Hmm... gotta figure out how to change the 4pm sleep cycle to about 8pm.... gonna try that tomorrow.

FYI, she is still the cutest thing ever. That red hair though.... it creates QUITE the temper!!!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

2 Weeks Old!

Aryn is 2 weeks old. Oh.My.Gosh. Time goes by so fast! Ryan and I fall in love with her more and more everyday and I find myself falling more and more in love with Ryan everyday as well.

Aryn Update:
BORN: 8.4 lbs, 19.5"
2 WEEKS: 9.25 lbs, 21.5"

My little girl is not going to be so "little" for long!!


- Aryn was sleeping for like 5 hours a night and waking up for about 10 minutes of feeding. Which, sure - that's awesome for mommy sleep-wise, but it sure made for an uncomfortable sleep when I had sand bags hanging off of my chest by 6am! The poor thing wouldn't wake up long enough for a full feed in the middle of the night and it really made for a tiring morning. On the plus side, I have like 5 bottles full of milk in the freezer downstairs!

- Last night, however, was the total opposite. She was up from midnight until 3:30am and then up again at 6:30am until almost 11am. How tired am I today? Very.

- She poops a LOT. Every time i check her diaper, there's poop. Today, she pooped in her diaper, then on the change table, then she peed on the change table, then she pooped in the towel as I brought her to the bathroom for a bath. It was quite the experience.

- Bauer is very concerned about her. He doesn't really like her all that much, but he is very concerned when she cries and he even attacked a dog that was too close to us. It was quite shocking!

- She's now in #1 diapers. 8-14 lbs.

Here's some videos!


How Aryn slept the first week we brought her home:

1 week old:

Monday, September 20, 2010

Why "Aryn"?

I've had a few people ask us about Aryn's name, so I thought I'd give a little background on it.

Basically, Ryan and I were stuck on 2 names and neither of us liked the other one's pick. Ryan liked Adrienne, and I liked Isabelle. Then, because of stupid Twilight (seriously, what is with the obsession on that?!) "Isabella" was the #1 name this year. And I don't want my little girl going to school with 15 other little girls with such a similar name. So we vetoed Isabelle. And I just never fell in love with Adrienne, even though I tried really hard.

Anyways, we were watching tv downstairs one day and Ryan suggested Erin. And I really like that name, but I know soooo many Erin's that I didn't want anyone thinking we named her after them hahahaha. So while I hummed and hawed it, he goes "But we'll spell it 'Aryn' - which is 'Ryan' with the letters mixed up."

I loved it.

And our next child will be Neside.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Aryn's Birth Story

Well miss Aryn is finally here. She is absolutely perfect and beautiful and we are beyond in love with her.

I really wanted to write up her birth story because it really is the most perfect birth story I could have ever asked for.

Early Tuesday, September 14th morning I woke up at about 4am because my hands hurt; and of course, I had to pee for the 3rd time that night haha. So I got up and in the washroom I was looking at my hands and they were massive - I literally couldn't even take off my ring! I ended up getting it off but I remembered a friend of mine telling me that the day before she went into labour with her girls she swelled up. Ryan went to work at about 7am and I fell back to sleep almost instantly. At about 8:30 I woke up really having to go to the washroom. I sat up in bed and felt a gush.

Now, because I had thought my water broke like 4 other times, I ignored the gush. I went and had a shower and while in the shower, I knew - my water was broken. I went and checked and sure enough, I just knew I was right. So I got ready, did my hair, put on my waterproof makeup (haha) and called Ryan and then my parent.

Because Ryan already works in the city, I stole a ride with my dad. I drove Bauer to their place and while I was there, the contractions began. Now, I had had these contractions for the last 3 weeks so I wasn't thinking much of it. But on the way to the hospital, they were getting a lot more intense - so much so that while my dad is talking to me, I wasn't even able to answer.

So we meet Ryan at the hospital, and when I stood up out of the car, the pain got so much more intense. I had to keep stopping on the walk to the elevators. We got to the Labour & Delivery floor and - lo and behold, there were NO FREE BEDS. Seriously. By now, contractions were 2 minutes apart and so intense. There was an East Indian couple in the waiting room as well and they smelled so bad that I had to keep standing in the hallway which was so uncomfortable. By now, I was scared and worried about how much pain I was going to go through that day that I had a bit of a mental breakdown in the hallway hahaha.

Anyways, so a nurse ended up coming to get me and basically bypassed triage and admitted me automatically. They got me a room and the doctors were waiting for me when I walked in. They began testing - I was 90% effaced, my water had most certainly broken (at 8:45am), and I was 4cm (I remember saying "ONLY 4?!?!?!?!")

The next 12 hours was a bit of a blur. I spent about an hour in the shower but it was so small and uncomfortable that I ended up just getting out - then they had to insert a heart monitor to the baby's head so I couldn't go into the shower again anyways. I stood the entire time I was in labour. Contractions were literally 2 minutes apart the entire time I was in the hospital. I mean, they would be intense and then the pain would never even end before another one came. I even said to the nurse "on Friends Rachel had like 10 minutes in between each contraction - this isn't fair!" Yeah, nice, Denise...

I had read SO MUCH about labour that I knew everything that made things go easier: the exercise ball, squatting, rocking, walking, the shower, the toilet.... but honestly, NOT ONE SINGLE FRIGGEN THING WORKED. The exercise ball hurt, squatting hurt, I couldn't walk, I hated the shower, I couldn't sit. The only thing that I liked was standing in the middle of the room, swaying back and forth, back and forth, with Ryan massaging the top of my neck. I did that the ENTIRE.TIME. No joke.

Ryan deserves a huuuuuge metal.

*Disclaimer: I can honestly say that even during labour and birth - that it was never what I expected it to be. Yes, it hurt. But I would most definitely do it again in a second. Calming music is the key. It kept me so calm through it all. It really didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would.

Anyways, I ended up asking for some fentinal because the contractions were so close together I never even had time to relax in between them. And Ryan's hands were getting sore from massaging me so often that I just needed something to take the edge off. And, fentinal is out of your system quite quickly. I also used the gas mask, but I found it made me quite nauseous sometimes but I still went through 3 tanks.

At 7pm or so, they checked me again and I was 100% effaced and 8.5cm - and they wanted me to pee to bring it to 10cm. I tried - my God did I try - but it hurt so bad. The doctor told me they could just make me pee later with a catheter, and I agreed. The nurse then told me that pushing actually feels better than contractions so - without telling anyone - every time I had a big contraction, I just started pushing while standing up. I pushed without anyone knowing for about an hour. It felt SO GOOD every time.

At 8:30, I was 10cm, everything was ready and they got me on the bed and told me to start pushing at my next contraction.


You can watch videos, read books, everything... but nothing prepares you for what pushing out a kid feels like. I can honestly say - it was the most amazing feeling (except the "Ring of Fire" - man alive that shit hurts!). At 8:45pm or so (after about 10 minutes of pushing) the doctor told me to feel the baby's head. Wow. But her poor little heart was showing signs of major distress so the doctor told me I had to have her out in 2 contractions or they'd have to use the suction. They ended up needing the suction, which I welcomed.

At 8:52pm they put my beautiful baby girl on my stomach. Even thinking back at it, I'm tearing up. The most amazing feeling and experience. Ever.

They took her away and cleaned her up. I started hemorrhaging so they had to get her away and deal with me. They had to manually extract some major blockages and clumps which - let me tell you - felt awesome (sarcasm). Then I had to be stitched up from 1 2nd degree tear (yowza).

Ryan stood watching Aryn and taking pictures. I kept asking him if she looks like an Aryn and what she looks like (I hadn't really noticed as I was on such a high earlier).

They ended up giving me back little miss Aryn and at about 10pm or so they wheeled me into recovery for our first night. I don't think I slept at all. Ryan had gone home at about 11pm (they wouldn't let him sleep over), and I just couldn't believe I had a baby. They took her away at about 2am and gave her a bath and when they brought her back to me I realized just how absolutely gorgeous this kid was and just how bright red her hair is. Oh.My.Gosh this kid has the cutest hair ever.

The next day consisted of me learning to breastfeed and my parents coming to meet miss Aryn. Ryan came at about 8am and at 9:15pm we were finally discharged. We could have gotten out earlier, but Aryn had a little heart murmur the doctors wanted to look at (she had 3 pediatricians - including the head of pediatrics - take a look at her but they finally decided it wasn't that serious and would probably go away on its own) and they wanted to make sure I wasn't going to bleed anymore.

(side note: we had gotten a conjoined room and the night Aryn was born my roommates left at about 11pm so I had the conjoined room all to myself until about 9pm the next night. The lady who came in had just had her 4th kid - a 10 lb 11oz toddler. I was more than happy to leave).

We got home after 10pm and I think I fell asleep almost instantly. Ryan said I snored so loudly (which is weird cuz I NEVER snore!). We got up a couple of times to feed her but all in all, it was a good first night.

The next night was a bit more difficult but it's been getting easier ever since. My milk has come in now and Aryn is eating like a champ. Often, but manageable. She's peeing and pooping perfectly, and honestly is the most beautiful little girl ever.

On a side note, I have been finding myself thanking God more about what kind of man He blessed me with. Ryan is absolutely amazing. He took 2 weeks off and is basically tending to my every need. He makes me food, brings me water, helps me with Aryn, he is just absolutely amazing. I've found myself just staring at him holding Aryn with this new kind of love that I've never experienced before. I never thought I could love him more and it amazes me how much I do. He is SO.GOOD. with her. And she just loves him. You should see her look at him - such adoration. I am truly the luckiest person alive.

Oh and Bauer. His nose is completely out of joint. Last night he slept right up against me and kept basically trying to kick me out of bed. But I think he'll learn to accept it and want to be a part of it soon.

Aryn.... mommy and daddy love you sooo much and are so happy to have you as a part of our lives. You have made us happier than we could have ever imagined and we can't wait to see what kind of person you turn out to be. We will always love you no matter what, and all we want for you is to be happy. We love you so much baby girl.


Saturday, September 11, 2010

September 11

First off, still no baby. However, I was up at 1am last night with awful contractions. Right when I decided that I would get up and tell Ryan that it was time to go to the hospital, they decided to stop. I gave them ample time to start up again, but to no avail. This is getting really old.

Today is September 11. There have been a lot of memorable tragedies in the last 29 years... Columbine, the Oklahoma City Bombing, tsunamis and major earthquakes, but I don't remember what I was doing the days I heard about those tragedies. But when I think of 9/11... I know exactly what I was doing.

I was living in Old SAIT Residence and I had an exam to write that day. I woke up that morning to Power 98 (which no longer exists) with the DJ's telling everyone that this is the one and only time they'll say this: shut off the radio, and go turn on the TV. So I got out of bed, turned on the TV, and watched with devastation as the first tower began to fall live. I called my mom to find out exactly what happened, she told me everything and we watched as both towers fell. The rest of the day was a blur. We had to still write our exam, but the professor was very lenient with us and explained that she knew it would be hard to concentrate but we had to do this test. I think she even gave us answers so we could leave. Then we all went to the SAIT bar, sat down in the lounge, and watched the news for the rest of the afternoon. We cried, we sat in disbelief, we all changed. We went from people who never thought of mass murders or terrorism, to seeing firsthand what this world is truly capable of. We became cynical, prejudice, and racist all in a matter of 12 hours.

It's hard to think back and the instant hatred we all had for a group of people. That hatred has since dissipated and turned into pity for a country that thrives on hate and blaming others for their misfortune. But more than pity for them, there is a real fear. I pray everyday that my child (should she ever decide to be born!) never have the sense of fear I have that someone could use an airplane as a missile to murder thousands upon thousands of innocent human beings... or that we have to witness another act of frivolous terrorism.

It has been 9 years since two airplanes flew into the World Trade Center in New York City. It has been 9 years since all of our lives have been changed by one act of terrorism. It has been 9 years since people lost family, friends, co-workers. It has been 9 years since something as tragic as this has happened.

I love country music, but I tend to not like Alan Jackson. But this song just moves me. It's not the best video, but it really depicts what happened that day. To all those who lost their lives and loved ones, we will never forget.

Friday, September 10, 2010

38 Weeks

Notice the lack of exclamation mark.

Still nothing happening. Contractions are stronger today but apparently that means nothing when it comes to me. However, I did get woken up 4 times last night with contractions. So that could mean sometime in the next 2 months she'll make her entrance.

In all honesty, it's not THAT bad. It's just been 2 weeks of constant labour, contractions, etcetera. I am uncomfortable, exhausted, and frankly if EVERY SINGLE doctor I've talked to hadn't said "VERY SOON", I'd be fine!! But when they get your hopes up that everything will be happening right away and then it doesn't... that's why I'm in a bit of a grumpy slump.

That, and the fact that all these same doctors keep saying "woah, she's gonna be a big girl!" and I'm not even at my due date honestly throws some fear into my heart that I'm going to give birth to a 15 lb toddler.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

"Tonight or tomorrow morning", my ASS!

Contractions are getting stronger but still nothing to write home about.

Doctors getting our hopes up = thumbs down.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Hospital Visit #3

I'm still doing pretty good!


- 3 cm dilated
- 75% effaced
- Doc thinks it'll either be tonight or sometime tomorrow
- Water did NOT break

... to be continued ...

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Today's Doctors Appointment

Well I missed my 11:50am appointment today because of stupid construction on Highway 1 and 68th Street. I can't wait until that intersection is done! So they rescheduled me for 1pm.

While I waited, I went to the new mall and had horrible contractions the whole time. I could barely walk. So I left and just drove to the doctor's appointment.


- 2cm dilated
- Still 50% effaced
- Baby extremely low
- Water sac is "bulging"
- Doctor very surprised I haven't gone into labour yet
- Doctor said she'd be surprised if I make it the rest of this week - however, she was very adamant that it could be another few weeks - however unlikely

I do have to do a bladder test, only because it hurts when I pee and I pee about 80 billion times a day, so you can imagine that I'm not too excited about peeing - ever.

So I drove home after stopping quickly at Old Navy. I got home, got out of Red Dragon (the Tribute... yes, we name our vehicles), and I dropped a bunch of napkins on the ground. I bent over to pick them up, stood up, took 1 step and....

I *think* my water broke.

So now we're playing the waiting game. Did it or didn't it?? Time will tell. I'm waiting until contractions start getting stronger and closer together. I want to labour at home as long as I can before heading to the hospital.

I wish when your water broke it was like bright green or blue or something so that you KNEW if it broke. But noooo it has to look, smell, and act like pee. Stupid water.

So I'll keep you posted.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Hospital Visit #2

A friend of mine told me they went to the hospital 6 times before they delivered their first. Sooo... I'm doing pretty good!

This morning we drove aaaaall the way to Calgary to go to the Laugheed. I had bad cramps, baby girl wasn't moving very much, and I was leaking some sort of fluid. Turns out baby girl was sleeping (she woke up at about 10:30am and moved around a LOT), the fluid was not my water breaking, and I AM having contractions.

As of 2:14pm, my contractions are getting a little bit more severe. They're no longer just in my abdomen, they are shooting up the side of my stomach. Soooo, while watching the monitor and knowing that they're coming about every 10 minutes or so, hopefully - and that's a strong hopefully - baby girl comes soon. However, it can still be a few days or even weeks.

My God, this much cramping and contractions for weeks still?? Umm... no, thank you. I want to meet her NOW!

Friday, September 3, 2010

37 Weeks!! FULL TERM!!!!

I am officially full term!!

She can officially come at any time and she will have no more developing to do. I am so excited. I want to meet her soon. Everyone says "enjoy this time of just the two of you"... well, I've enjoyed that time for a long time now, and I'm ready to make us a family!


- LOTS of cramping - both in my lower abdomen and upper abdomen.
- Having a tougher time walking
- Exhausted. I don't even think "exhausted" is the right word. Sleep walking is more like it.
- Bathroom. Oh.My.Gosh. I have done like 15 Hard Sudoku's in the last week with how many times I go to the bathroom. And hard sudoku's take a LONG time to do. This is ridiculous!

My parents are back today, so I am feeling much better and calmer about everything. I have someone to watch Bauer, and someone who can drive me into the city should I need them to. It's just something about your parents being close that makes you feel much more calm and relaxed. Maybe this is a good sign that baby girl is coming soon??

Nothing much else. I'm the size of a house, so yet again no photos. Sorry, but... *insert puking image here*

Thursday, September 2, 2010

So I went for an anesthetic consultation at the hospital this morning. My appointment was at 9am, I saw the doc at 10am ( angry4 )

So he met with me, and explained the risks that, should I need a c-section for whatever reason, what are my choices:

1. Put me under
2. Spinal
3. Epidural

After looking at my chart and talking to me, he was very leery about all options - but, in this day and age when c-sections are quite common, they need to have an option. So, I sat there while he (the guy that gives the epidurals... what are they called again...), the gynecologist and the doctor all conversed about my state of health. They got on the phone with the neurologist who I saw in 2003 regarding my neck fracture and the 4 of them had a good discussion.

(Side note: I have been asking for this exact conversation to be had for the last 2 years. They waited until I was almost 37 weeks pregnant to get to it!)

Anywho, it has been ruled that:

1. I CAN, in fact, get an epidural
2. I CAN, in fact, get a spinal
3. They do not want me to be put under in the case that I should need a c-section

They also defined my neck problems as a "disease" and are quite concerned that no one has followed up in the last few years. Basically, if it gets worse, it can actually cause me severe problems as I get older. - this is the disease - and the neck problem that is the cause for all of this worry is that I have a syrinx.

Anyways, after they decided this, I got the pleasure of sitting there and listening to them tell me how painful labour is and that more than 80% of the births they do at this hospital are epidural births and that I'll more than likely ask for an epidural. Which kinda pissed me off because I think that, as a doctor, you should support the patient's choice of wanting a natural birth instead of speaking pain into their lives.

Oh and I've had severe cramping all day all over my stomach - mostly in the lower region, but it's definitely much more severe than it has been. Fingers crossed this means things are moving??