Sunday, October 3, 2010

Changes

There are not a lot of people in this world I admire. I can name only a few - and 2 are my parents! I have become quite cynical towards people in the past few years and it really reflects on how I perceive humans in general. I judge people, and I assume the worst in everyone. Why am I like this? I never used to be!

This weekend I went to the funeral of 3 of my good friends' father. He died doing something he loved: flying an airplane. When I heard the news (via Facebook), it was 3am and I was up with a grumpy Aryn and I cried so hard when I saw what the girls had written. Their hero had died, and their whole lives had changed. I cried for them, I cried for his wife, I cried for the grandbabies, I cried for myself (just imagining what it would be like to lose my father. I tear up just thinking about what these girls are going through - I can't imagine losing my dad).

I've been to a lot of funerals in my life - people I knew, people I knew families or friends of, people I admired, people I wish I had known better. There are only 2 funerals I've ever been to where I truly said to God "WHY?". WHY did God take away this person? Those 2 funerals are for Jay-Bo Boyd, and that of this Chuck Matson.

Very few things lately make me stop and question who I am and who I've become. Very few things lately make me want to be a better person. Very few things lately make me want to CHANGE.

This funeral made me do all those things.

I started wondering what people would say if I were to pass away: would people say the things they said about Chuck? The things people said about him, the way he's changed everyone's life around him for the better, the way he loved and praised God with no fear and no barriers, the way he was open about not only his faith but about helping those around him... I want people to remember me the way they remember Chuck Matson.

The funeral yesterday made me want to be more like a man whom I haven't seen or talked to in......... 11 years? Not since he drove Christa and me to the airport on our way to Vancouver. This is a man whom I spent a total of 20 minutes in a vehicle with 11 years ago and he changed my life yesterday.

I decided to make a change. I want to walk more in the way God wants me to. I want to be more personable (I've become such a homebody over the last few years). I want to make more friends, and BE a change for those friends. I want to call people randomly and just tell them that God told me to call them. I want to talk to God again, I want to listen to God again, I want to be the Christian He wants me to be.

Amazing what 1 man can do.

Jenelle, Tiffany and Christa.... I love the 3 of you and I love that you shone such a new light in my life. Thank you for all you shared yesterday.

5 comments:

  1. Awesome Denise! Do you have a church that you attend? The biggest thing that has helped me in my walk is to find a church and get PLUGGED IN. We joined a young married couples class where we get to socialize with other believers in our same stage of life. I also joined MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) which has been an awesome way to connect with other moms who are believers as well. My life verse that can be applied to SO MANY things in my life, I think also applies here:
    Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

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  2. I am not much help on the walk with God part but I do think that people would have some wonderful things to say about you. I have "known" you for, what, like a year? I can tell you are a compassionate and loyal friend. You have a beautiful soul. Something that not a lot of people can claim.

    I don;t know that anyone great has ever really set out to change someone's life but rather its the small things that add up. Its the compassion and love that shows through and changes others.

    Anyway, love this post. Good luck in your walk with God.

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  3. THanks Denise,

    That meant the world to me.

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  4. So sad Denise that I didnt have a chance to visit with you and Aryn that day, I actually didnt even see you. We will need to plan a time soon for you to bring over baby and allow us to love on her. Chris leaves tomorrow and I already know we are going to have major baby fever going around.

    Thanks for the post, and im glad these are the words you wrote!

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  5. Just read this for the first time Denise....so honored. Love you!

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