Monday, March 18, 2013

10 weeks to go

I am 30 weeks pregnant tomorrow. What does that mean? We are on the home stretch. And it couldn't have come sooner.

I cannot sleep. I want to hire someone to massage my hips at night. And my feet. Hell, while I'm at it, my hired night-time masseuse can massage my hands, shoulders, and cramping calves while they're at it. I sleep on a man-made-extra bed. I have a pillow under my hips, another between my legs, and 2 under my head to prop me up so I can breathe. Oh and pregnancy-safe nose meds to keep me from dying from lack of oxygen. Literally. Not exaggerating. Then I have Bauer pressed up right against me, turning my already over-heated pregnant body into a flaming oven, so I also sleep out of the blankets, with as little clothing as possible to not only keep the night-time spiders from screaming in terror at the sight, but also to keep from opening all the windows and freezing the rest of my family out... and said spiders.

Oh how I wish I could open the windows.

I have 10 weeks to go. Aryn was 10 days early. This kid could either be earlier as well, even earlier than Aryn, right on time, or late. I am aware of the situation. There is no sugar-coating this. I know it could be a long time until I can sleep and breathe through my nose for the first time in 9 months.

In the meantime, I have began waddling. Yes, waddling. With Aryn, the waddle didn't start until well into my 30-weeks... most likely closer to 34 or 35. Not this time. This time, it started at 27 weeks. My hips hurt when I stood up from my chair, only to waddle into the kitchen. Now, I waddle everywhere. My legs have 'naturally' turned outwards and I now strut like a duck. I'm a creature from Narnia - walk like a duck, breathe like a bulldog, size of a cow, and the temper of a feline.

Ahh the temper. Don't cross me. Say ONE WORD about how "big you are", and be prepared for Evil Eyes. As a feline, if I had claws, you would no longer have a face. I am well aware how huge I am. I notice it every day I try to put my mascara on because I can't reach over the counter to see closer, as I have 30 pounds of stomach in the way. Or how I am pricing out a crane to help me roll over at night - because, you know, carrying a huge stomach, plus a pillow between your legs, and pushing a 300-degree 20-lb dog over, is a 3-man job. And Ryan is busy snoring next to me, so he's no help.

And my beautiful red-headed tornado is no help. She wants to play. she wants me to sit on those tiny, plastic, bright green chairs and play with Play-Doh. Remember my Playdoh post? How I was all, "I'm the best mom ever and Playdoh is fantastic and blah, blah, blah"?? Well, I hate Playdoh. It's everywhere. There's hardened Playdoh in my carpet, all over the table, in the tricycle (because why wouldn't she keep playdoh in the tricycle?), in the fish tank, in Bauer's beard, in my keyboard.

It is, literally, everywhere.

The creators of Playdoh should be shot. I should be shot for buying 8 containers of it. And leaving it out in the open for her to see. Every day.

And she wants to run. She wants to jump. She wants to go outside for walks. Oh, it's also -300C outside. With snow. And freezing wind. And no chance to allow my toddler to run around outside in our backyard because this is the world's longest winter.


And now we have runny noses and sinus headaches so there's even less chances of sneaking out of the house and allowing her to run through Walmart, making a mess, and grabbing random items to put in random people's shopping carts. Thanks to us, Walmart has an all-time record sales of tooth brushes and staples. You're welcome.

But we're in the home stretch. In 10 weeks, I will not be able to sleep for other reasons - a crying baby, an awake-in-the-middle-of-the-night toddler, a pissed off dog who's angry I did this to him again, and a husband who actually has the nerve to ask if he can sleep downstairs because, you know, he has to "work in the morning."

Just try that one, buddy.

We're in the home stretch. Baby snuggles and soft blue sheets are so close, I can smell them both. I can also smell stinky dog right now though, so ... what do I know?

Monday, March 11, 2013

Baby Boy Update

Welp, time for another update!

Today we had another ultrasound. Unfortunately, first we experienced the perfect storm: my mom decided to go to Montreal, my dad had a doctor's appointment that he couldn't reschedule, my friend who normally takes Aryn was busy, Ryan's parents couldn't make it, and therefore, we were "stuck" having to bring Aryn.

Note to self: BIG MISTAKE.

She is a very active, easily bored toddler. She hates everything other than big open rooms with lots of room to run around in. She hates other kids playing with the available toys. She does not like the available Winnie the Pooh videos, and gets angry that "WoodyBuzz" isn't available to watch. Oh and our portable DVD player, which was purchased literally 1 month ago, apparently broke. Literally just stopped working. Today. Of all days.

So she was a bit of a terror. All she wanted to do was play with the ultrasound machine and threw 18 fits in the 35 minutes we were in there because neither us, nor the tech, would let her play with it.

Fun times.

Anyways, we found out today that baby boy is a-OK. His insides are still flipped around, but they checked out his bowel and intestines and there is no reason to believe that anything is obstructed. My fluids are the same as last time, and he's already a little over 2.5lbs. He's doing fantastic.

We are officially off of "high risk" and we have a so-far green light to be able to give birth at the same hospital we had Aryn in, which is good for me because it's the closest hospital to our town, and with how fast labour hit me with Aryn, that extra 25-35 minute drive to the Foothills Hospital was terrifying.

In 3 weeks we go back for another ultrasound and meet with the neo-care unit from the Laugheed, who will assess the situation and decide if I can continue seeing my doctor, or be referred to the natal specialist from the Laugheed, but there are no indications that that's the route they'll decide on. I should be in for a very normal, natural birth, just like with Aryn.

Praise God!!

So that's the update!!

Sunday, March 10, 2013


Before I had kids, I knew that I would be one of those moms who made all of my kids' food from scratch, make toxic-free paint, feed them only organic foods, and wash their clothes with the most gentlest of homemade laundry soaps.

Then I had a kid. 

We use Tide. Chemicals-added. 
We eat goldfish crackers. A lot. And Kraft Dinner. And hot dogs. 
And we bought the on-sale 4-pack Play-Doh.

It's been a long winter. I am hating this winter. Both Aryn and I want to run outside and just play. Or... if we're being honest, I want her to play outside while I sit on the deck with a Mike's Hard Iced Tea. Mind you, I'm pregnant, so that's not feasible at this point, but this baby is bound to come eventually, right? 

So in an attempt to keep her entertained one particularly snowy, gross winter day, in MARCH, I brought out the Play-Doh. And I am angry with myself for not doing it sooner!!

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And she was soooo happy. 

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I am aware that this photo is not in focus. It's literally the only photo I got of her face. I totally forgot to focus on her face!!

She made a lot of animals, even though I couldn't tell what any of them were. She may not have been impressed with my lack of knowledge on what she was making, but she was proud of her creations. 

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And we listened to Raffi while we played. Yes, good ol' 1990's Raffi. She loved it, and was impressed that I knew all the words. 

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She was so enthralled with the whole experience. A few days later, and she is still asking to play with the Play-doh, and has become a snake-making pro (which, they all end up in the back of her tricycle, and then I forget about them there, and they dry out.)

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My creation; Our Family. You can all bow down to me!
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