I was 38 weeks yesterday. I had Aryn at 38w4d. Logically, I can expect this kid in the next few days. And let me tell you - I am ready. It has not been a very fun last couple of weeks, which is why my blogging has really taken a back seat. Which is ok, because I'm the least hilarious person in the world right now. I'm like Fun Bobby when he stops drinking; some of you may get that analogy, and for those of you who do, you are my kind of people.
It's been 2 weeks of contractions, no sleep, lack of patience, and Braxton Hicks. You may notice I mentioned contractions and Braxton Hicks. Yep. I'm that talented.
Oh and itching. I dreamed of scratching my skin off with a knife last night. It was glorious.
I'm thinking of becoming a speaker to kids about teen pregnancy. I'll paint them quite the beautiful picture that will lock those chastity belts for at least 10 years. You're welcome, parents.
To make matters even more awesome, Aryn woke up this morning stuffed up, runny nose, sneezing, and all around miserable. It's making life even more awesome. Perhaps 5 days in the hospital with the baby is just what I need. It'll be like a vacation! People bringing me food, laying in bed all day, having glorious naps whenever I want... sign me up! My phone rang? Whoops! Missed it! Nap time!
In all honesty, I am not looking forward to my 3-5 day hospital stay. When Aryn was born, I wanted to go home 3 hours after she was born. I hate the hospital. Mind you, this time I am paying whatever they want for a private room (first mistake I made with Aryn...), but a few days with a newborn, and nurses who know everything and tell you you're doing everything wrong, just isn't on my list of things to do this week. But, with his situs inversus, we will be there for a few days to make sure all of his insides are working well before we can go home. And then, if things aren't working perfectly, we'll have to be in there even longer.
I don't believe that'll happen though.
Plus, I am going to miss Aryn like crazy. She is sitting next to me right now, singing some random song she made up and it's making me laugh. I don't even know how to type it to explain it, but picture the funniest song ever, and that's what's happening right now.
Oh and she's learned the word "dump truck." Only, it doesn't sound like "dump truck." It sounds like "dumb fuck." And it makes me laugh. Every single time. When I'm exhausted and angry that I'm still pregnant, I ask Aryn to say "dump truck" and bam - smile and laughter.
In fact, that's what Ryan got me for Mother's Day. "Aryn, say 'dump truck' for your mom!"
Best gift ever.
So even though she's miserable and driving me insane today, I've made her say "dump truck" 13 times and it's only 9:30am. Score 1 for mom.
Hopefully, the next time I post I can introduce you to baby boy. Who is still nameless, by the way. If you've been following my blog for long enough, you'll know that with Aryn we had her name picked out at 6 months, and I was referring to her as "Aryn" in the blog. This time around, we've got nothing. We have a list of 5 names to bring to the hospital, but none of them I'm 100% sold on. Each has a pro/con. The names I do love, Ryan vetoes. It's super frustrating, especially since all the names I love are awesome... circa Rachel's names over Ross's names. Yep, another Friends reference. You're welcome, 1990s!
Come onnnnn, baby!
I could come with you to the high schools. I told my college students my story and they told me I scared them and should go make the rounds at the high schools. My story is just that good!
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