Thursday, August 15, 2013

Boo-Boos and Watching What We Say

When Aryn started talking, people kept saying to us, "Watch what you say now!" Aryn spoke her own language, that a friend of mine called "Arynese." It was very fitting, so we stuck with that. Entire sentences would be zipped through with random English words thrown in. For example,

"Onwer lorewrw laswor lawrouarpw ICE CREAM werouawerar." 

It took awhile and a lot of, "WHAT?!" questions before we started to figure out what she was saying. Once I started to understand Arynese, she started speaking better English and it has gotten progressively easier. Everyday she seems to learn new words and sentences that make us wonder just how she learned how to say that. She amazes us. 

Then it happens. 

Bauer barked.

I yelled, "Bauer! Shut up!" from upstairs.
Aryn yelled, "BAUER! SHUT UP!"
Crap.
"Aryn! Don't say shut up!"
"Mommy! Shut up!"
"Shit."
"Mommy! Shit!"
"Dammit. Aryn stop it!"
"Dammit!"
"Oh for goodness sakes."
"Shut up, Mommy, you goodness shit stop it!"

 This literally happened.

She repeats everything. Every sentence I say, 5 seconds after it comes out of my mouth I think, "WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT?!" 

This rotten kid literally repeats everything. From random things I say during the day (like "Oh my goodness") to swearing, she has me down pat. 

Then, she stops and says random, downright adorable, sweet stuff. Like today, I was coughing (I have a horrible cough right now, brought on by said toddler) and she came up to me, hugged my arm and said:

"I lub you, sweetheart."

Oh - "lub" is "love." Her V's are B's. Her R's are P's (downsteps, not downstairs). Her R's are also N's (Anyn, not Aryn). Her R's are also W's (Wyan, not Ryan... oh yeah, she also calls us by our first names sometimes). 

Toddler talk is hilarious. And confusing. I also think it should be a college course, and one that I am excelling in. Toddler Talk 101, Valedictorian, moi. 

Thank you, thank you.

Along with my little mimic, comes a whole swack of new conversations everyday. Amongst those is a great time of listening to every single boo boo this kid gets.

Now, I don't mean boo boo as in she slams her finger in the door. 

No.

Bauer's whisker ever so slightly touches her leg. "MOMMY! BAUER BITED ME!"

Umm...

Or, a bug just happens to land on her leg. Bugs = death. Hell breaks loose. She is DYING. At least that's what you'd think when you hear the screams and see the tears. "MOMMY! A BEE! A BEE BITED ME!"

Ryan is deathly allergic to bees. So, as a mom, when you hear this, you race as fast as you can to your kid. Who is standing there. Squishing a ladybug. 

That'll teach you, ladybug, for going near a toddler. 

Poor ladybug.....

So with tattletaleing on poor innocent bugs, she also tattle tales on her friends. She still shows me a tiny, barely-visible dot on her finger. "Keegan hurt me." 

Yeah... you haven't seen Keegan in a week. 

Life is pretty exciting around here. 

Lucas is doing great. He's smiling pretty much all day. When he's not smiling, he's sleeping. When he's not smiling or sleeping, he's playing with his toys. He loves toys. The one thing he spends the least amount of time doing a day is eating. It drives me insane. He's clearly starving (he shows no signs of hunger, but when he hasn't eaten for 5 hours during the day, that's the only logical explanation.... right?). Yet he's gaining weight, he has huge rolls, he poops like a champion, and I'm, once again, loving cloth diapers (no blowouts!!).

Tonight we sleep in heat. Alberta heat waves suck. But tomorrow we get air conditioning. Twill be a fantastic life. 

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